Thriving: why you won’t hear the ‘f’ word in our house

No, not that ‘f’ word. I mean ‘fat’. 

Other vocabulary that I want my daughters to wait as long as possible to learn, and even then they won’t come from me, are ‘diet’, ‘lose weight’ or any of the other words that are far more common than the ones I can’t wait to teach them: ‘health’, ‘strength’, ‘kindness’. I’ve got my work cut out! 

We are so obsessed with not being fat or being skinny, dieting and losing weight, that we completely forget about the real, important things in life. I hope I can raise my daughters to grow without guilt attached to food – I know this will be hard; even food that’s nutritious is often labelled as ‘guilt-free’ – why label it at all then, surely it is just ‘food’ then?

I want my daughters to enjoy food without obsessing over calories, whether it will make them fat, or whether they should be feeling guilty about eating it. It took me 30 years to learn how to do that, and although I do have moments of overindulging anxiety, generally I now enjoy food for what it is. 

I hope I can teach my daughters well about nutrition; that if they eat real food most of the time then it will help them to thrive and be strong, physically and mentally. 

Currently I am a stay at home mum so my task is pretty easy – I can cook them their three meals a day and know they are getting the nutrition they need. One day soon though, they will go into the big, wide world, and they will inevitably end up with all nature of ‘food’ as part of their diet. It’s going to be really important that they can learn how to handle anything; chocolate, McDonald’s, cakes, ice cream included, as part of their diet, without guilt and without fear of getting fat. 

I hope they can learn to love themselves, to focus on their strengths and how their body feels; and I hope I can lead the way – I’m still working on it! So, although it can be hard at times, the words ‘fat’, ‘diet (verb)’ and ‘lose weight’ are banished in our house! 

The Twinkle Diaries

14 thoughts on “Thriving: why you won’t hear the ‘f’ word in our house

  1. Such a refreshing read. I am guilty of worrying about my own indulgences and it’s scary to think of that rubbing off on my girls. It’s a delicate balance teaching the difference between eating healthy and scaremongering about being fat, requiring a little bit of thinking before talking! X MMT


    1. It’s pretty daunting isn’t it! I want to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them from all the celebrity / magazine world that can drive even a well balanced woman crazy one the one hand, and from nasty unhealthy food on the other, but can’t protect them forever, need to try to give them the tools and grounding to deal with it themselves, really hope I can get the balance right. Thanks for reading and for your comment.


  2. Julie S.

    Love this! Food and body issues are learned too early these days so it is great that you’re trying to teach them a healthy understanding of enjoying food and not thinking negatively of their bodies.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good call – we’ve got a boy but they are sadly these days also getting battered with the fat stick. Obviously its not good to be unhealthy but that’s the way to talk about food – from the positive not the negative. Children should love food and cooking and grow up free from the emotional bullshit that surrounds it and makes money for the diet industry and the media. Keep up the good work! #twinklytuesday

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Absolutely! I’m a big proponent of everything in moderation, no foods are ‘bad’ we just need to have a healthy approach to all foods, which I hope is what I’m teaching my kids. I don’t ban anything, I just keep an eye on how much of certain things they eat. Thankfully, they all eat well, and a good variety of foods. Long may it continue! #twinklytuesday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you’re right.. It’s painful to see a 3 year old at a party say they’re not allowed cake! Balance is the key but it takes effort from me to be relaxed about their food and not make it an emotional / stressful thing for them. And food should be emotive in some ways as it is so vital for our health! Thanks for reading 🙂


    1. I can empathise as I spent most of my life doing the same and still occasionally have slip ups, but am coming to learn that happiness is about so much more than looking good, and it’s such a cliche but if you learn to love yourself then you can appreciate yourself for the way you are. Onwards and upwards! Thanks for commenting 🙂


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